The Slayers and Conan entered Shadizar at the tail end of afternoon. As they entered, millions of people flocked to Conan's horse, feeling up his legs and crying his name as though he were a god or some other form of deity. Meanwhile, a camel hid it's head in the ground like an ostrich.

"Why can't we ever attract crowds like that?" Lina Inverse grumbled.

"Maybe we don't have his charisma," commented Gourry.

Sure enough, Conan's larger than life charisma immediately got them into the hall of the castle to be greeted by the blonde haired, blue eyed Queen Jenna, whom Conan helped out once when she was in a pinch. "Conan," she greeted. "Long time no see."

"Love what you've done with this hallway," said Conan. Then he stretched out his hand to indicate the Slayers, who were astounded by the craftsmanship of the hall. "My companions, Lina Inverse, Gourry Gabriev, Zel Graywards, Amelia WT Seyruun."

"It's about time I get introduced first!" Lina yelled enthusiastically.

"I take it you're impressed with our hall."

"It's epic!" yelled Lina.

"Grandiose," commented Zel.

"Biblical, even!" added Amelia.

"Epically grandiose in a biblical kind of way," finished Gourry. Then everyone looked at him, stymied by his conjunction of their previous words.

"Well, you must be very tired and hungry after whatever epic journey you've just undertaken, so should we fix you up anything?" the Queen offered.

Lina immediately jumped on the opportunity. "Really?! Just make us everything you've got!"

Minutes later, they were all tearing through giant mid afternoon snack lunch that had been prepared for them.

"My your friends have hefty appetites," Jenna observed as the Slayers inhaled the food that had been prepared for them.

"Hey, slow down!" Conan slammed his fist on the table to stop them. "Chew your food."

They did as they were demanded of. "So what brings you back here Conan?" asked the Queen.

"I've got this here Talisman of Time, now all I need is Akiro to translate the funky writing on it," answered Conan. "So where's he at?"

"He'll be back tomorrow from a wizard's convention, so in the meantime I guess you've just got to kill time," the Queen answered. "We're having a grand party tonight, so if you're still hungry afterwards-"

"Oh you'd better believe we'll be there!" Lina was quick to answer through her chewing of food.

"Just try to leave a little food for the rest of the free world."

That night, Conan & the Slayers were all dressed so fine and looking so pretty as they entered the grand and epic banquite, an annual activity in kingdoms to throw such ridiculously large parties mostly so people could dress up like jerks, get juiced, then dance real badly. Conan looked very out of place in his black tux as did Zel, though Gourry seemed to pull it off alright. Lina was dressed in a red dress while Amelia sported a blue dress, both with matching white pearl necklaces and white earings.

"I wear pants too much," Lina said out of the blue. "Nothing against this dress, but it's so immobile."

"I know, it'll make rushing to the food so much harder for you," Amelia joked, but immediately shrank when Lina shot her a dirty look.

"I still don't see why I have to be here," Zel complained. "This is a waste of time."

"Because this is what the good life is all about, Zel," Lina answered. "Wasting time going out to big gatherings, having fun and never thinking about either the past or the future."

"For you, maybe."

"I don't see any food anywhere," Gourry said after being silent for so long.

"Oh it's here alright!" Lina insisted vehemently. "All we have to do is follow our noses!"

Gourry almost asked if it was even possible to remove the nose for following, but decided not too when he realized how utterly impossible that was. So instead he and Lina just sniffed through the crowds until they found the table. It was so overloaded with food: steak, ribs, chicken, roast, pork chops, turkey, ham, not to mention the usual side-dishes. It was almost too good to be true for the Bandit Killer and Swordsman of Light, it nearly moved them to tears.

"Food, Gourry! Glorious, glorious food!"

"Oh yes Lina! Glorious, glorious food!"

From a distance Conan, Zel, and Amelia watched with their usual exasperation. "Those two really scare me sometimes," Amelia sighed.

"I feel your feigned fear," Zel replied.

"And you two travel with them why?" asked Conan.

Zel and Amelia looked at each other, then shrugged "Because they're our friends."

Lina and Gourry were about to start tearing through the food as was their usual manner to do so, but someone grabbed their (respectively) long hair. "Hey hold it you kids! You can't just go tearing through the food right away!"

"We can't?" Gourry asked wide-eyed.

"Why not?!" demanded Lina.

"You two just got here right? Well, you haven't danced yet, and officially dancing is what you do first!"

The bandit killing sorcress and slow witted swordsman felt incised. "WHAT?!"

"It's standard rules of a banquit! First you dance, then you're free to stuff your faces! It's really for your own good, it's to keep you from throwing up."

"But I... he... we uh... uh..." Lina stammered, her face all red, Gourry just kind of stood there all clueless as usual.

"Hey if neither of you know how to dance, go ask that elf girl over there for some pointers!" the guest pointed into the distance to wear a lightly blonde haired, green-eyed elf girl dressed in white was showing people how it was done.

"Isn't that Deedlit from Record of Lodoss War?" asked Gourry.

"I don't know and I don't want to know," Lina hung her head defeated. "Let's just get this over with."

"Okay."

They started off towards the elf, Amelia noticed, then looked up at Zel. "Say uh-"

"No."

"Aw." Then Amelia noticed something else. "Hey, where'd Mr. Conan go?"

Zel looked around for a minute and did not see hide nor hair of their brawny barbarian companion.

The elf looked Lina and Gourry and realized she had her work cut out for her. "Okay this is going to be a challenge with the size difference and all," she sighed. "Okay, you stand here and you stand there," she instructed. "You put her hand under her arm around her shoulder, good. You, put your arm around his waist, yes, that's right. Now take each other's hand, put your right foot in, shake it all about, put your left foot in, shake it all about."

I can't believe I'm doing this, Lina berated in her head.

"Easy, just relax. Turn about slowly, slowly, watch your feet, and yes! You've got it! Oh damn I'm good!"

To Lina, this was all too unreal, dancing with Gourry in this big banquit. She wondered what was going through his head, then figured nothing was going through his head because he wasn't hung up over things like this the way she was. But both mutually were doing this for the food, so all they really had to do was just dance till they were... hmm. She couldn't seem to think of exactly when they were supposed to stop. Then a brief question of 'If I want to stop' hit her, but immediatley went up in smoke when they tripped over a man who was bowing to a lady he had just finished dancing with. Very embarrassed, the two hastily apologized then rushed over to the table to eat, but Lina's ability to enjoy what she was eating was squandered due to the embarassing circumstances.

Then Zel and Amelia showed up at the table. "Hey have either of you seen Conan?" they asked.

"No!"

"No."

"Well, we're looking for him and well, we need help."

"Okay," Gourry put down his chicken leg and went with Zel and Amelia while Lina stayed at the table eating. At the moment, eating once again was the only way to forget her worries.

Then a drunk woman with brown hair walked up to her. "Uh, are you alright?"

"Fine and sandy like southern dandy!" replied the drunk woman. "But hey, a question..."

"What?"

"How much are you paying the blonde haired man?"

"WHAT?!"

Then three other women, a tall dark blonde, a short light blonde, and a tall dark brunnette came up behind the drunk light haired brunnette, whispering "Kelly!"

"Christine, Hilary, get her out of here!" the tall blonde instructed.

"Right Laura! C'mon Kelly, you've had enough!" the two dragged Kelly away while Laura made quick apologies. "I'm so sorry young lady, my friend had too much to drink, I'm very sorry. Here's my card, if you ever need clothes, just come to my store I'll cut you a nice deal on a dress. Once again, I'm so very sorry."

After the lady departed, Lina spotted the wine bowl and started steadily drinking out of it. "I feel... so cheap," she said to herself.

Gourry had gone outside in his look for Conan, and saw him sitting at a bench eating a giant thing of ribs all by himself. "Hey, what's up? Why'd you go off like that?"

"I like eating alone," Conan replied. "Eating with people in a sleazy dive is one thing, but eating with all the high class folk in a banquit is just too much."

"I see," Gourry said as he sat next to him. "Can I have some?"

"Go ahead."

Gourry tore off a rib and started greedily devouring it. "Say Conan, can I share a quiet moment of male bonding with you?"

"Shoot yourself."

"Well, do you ever feel out of place?"

"All the time."

"I feel out of place sometimes hanging out with Lina and Zel and Amelia."

"It's the magic, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's the magic. I feel like I get pushed aside and left out sometimes just 'cause I can't use magic and they can. It makes me feel... so second rate."

"You're a swordsman, they need that balance."

"Yeah, I guess you're right."

"I'm glad we had this conversation," Conan patted Gourry on the shoulder.

"Me too."

That's when Zel and Amelia came up. "So you found him."

"Mm-hmm. Hey, where's Lina?"

"I thought she was with you."

"Probably beating some guy up for his chicken leg," Conan commented.

"It wouldn't surprise me. You gonna stay here and continue to eat in solitude?"

"I'd prefer that."

"Okay."

Gourry, Zel, and Amelia rushed back into the banquit hall to look for Lina and were greeted with a ridiculous sight: a drunk Lina with a glass in her hand dancing on the table around a bunch of howling guys.

"HUH?!"

Gourry ran over and forced his way through the crowd just in time to catch Lina as she stumbled off the table to a dislocated shoulder that never got to be. "Lina?!"

"Hey big boy..." Lina sputtered drunkingly. "Have you tried this wine stuff? It'll knock your socks up, hehehe."

"Okay!" Gourry eyed the crowd howlers. "Who got her drunk?! C'mon, be honest!"

They all shook their heads no. "It wasn't me!"

"It wasn't me!"

"I had nothing to do with it!"

"She was like that when I got here, man!"

Gourry pushed his way back through the crowd, trying to pacify the drunk Lina. "You've had enough, Lina. Now you go to bed."

Amelia watched Gourry carry Lina out and felt a slight longing for that kind of stereotype, story book romantic imagery in her own reality. "Good thing Miss Lina's drunk or she'd hit him."

"Yeah."

"Now what do we do Mr. Zelgadis?"

"I guess we eat."

They walked over to the table and got stopped by a guest. "Have you both danced yet?"

"Yes," they both replied. The guest let them through and they started sizing up the food. "Chicken nugget?" Amelia offered.

"Thank you." Zel devoured the nugget in one bite while Amelia went after the salad. "Mmm, honey flavored."

Gourry eventually found Lina's room and tried to flop her down on her bed, but she refused to be flopped. "I don't want to bed go!"

"You have to bed go," Gourry replied. "You have school tomorrow."

"But I food want!"

"You'll get food tomorrow."

"Hey, if I sleep go to, will you come with me?"

"Uh... no."

"Why?"

"Because you're drunk. It wouldn't be right."

"Is this because I'm not some distress in damsel? Because if it is-"

"It has nothing to do with the fact you're not a damsel in distress. I've met lots of damsels in distress who would rather be distressing damsels."

"That makes no sense."

"That means a lot coming from a drunk person. Besides, I don't sleep well on a full stomach."

"Will you come back when you're not so full of yourself?"

"Uh... maybe."

"Okey-dokey." Lina finally flopped on her bed. Gourry suddenly knew what it felt like to be a parent.